I think I am morally bankrupt
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
