idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
