Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Say something about gay babies.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
