just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize