Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
