can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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