Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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