It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
