we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
