All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
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