I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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