so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
