Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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