if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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