i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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