Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Send help, water and tortillas.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
