separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
