He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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