i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
