Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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