you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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