Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
