im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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