This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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