You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
