we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
