As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
