Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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