Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
