you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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