Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
