We won't sleep together?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Found the puke drawer
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
