oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
