How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
