she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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