listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
