Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
