i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
