I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
