Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
