I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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