brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
