Buhtt sex?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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