dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's official drugs can't kill me
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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