Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
