One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my being single is dangerous.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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