So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize