I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
