I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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