laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize