Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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