Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
