$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So vagazzling was a success
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