I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
