Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
