I think scott just propositioned me for sex
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
