u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
