He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Randomize
