so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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