I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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