I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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