You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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