Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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