God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
