there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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