The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
