Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
